Living Loved

My husband and I are chatting, and I lament how much I miss seeing deer. No big thing, just I miss seeing them as much now where we live. On this morning’s driving to work, I was blessed with the sighting of two young deer. They ambled across the road in the foggy morning. I have never seen deer on this road.  So what? Well…george-f-mobley-a-white-tailed-deer-feeds-by-a-dirt-road-at-cades-cove

I am reading Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst.  The subtitle is “Living loved when you feel less than, left out, and lonely.”

A meaty and fulfilling read so far. Whatever someone’s roots of rejection may be, this book addresses how they manifest in the now and how we can best deal with that rejection. Terkeurst approaches from a Christian point of view and gives scripture references, AND what I appreciate is her referring to the Hebrew roots of words. I wish she had done more of this.

I am still working my way through, but one of the passages that really hit me and caused me to stop and mull and pray is: “We all desperately want something we see the Lord giving to other women. We see Him blessing them in the very areas He’s withholding from us. And while these other women may not be obnoxious like Peninnah in their reminders of their blessing and our lack, it’s increasingly painful each time we see a reminder. We look at them, and we feel set aside. Why them? Why not me?” (Scripture reference I Samuel I).

Now, I don’t know about anybody else, but I have found myself struggling with this concept of feeling set aside and left out more than I should. But, it was for the longest time, why was everyone else finding someone?  Why did/does life seem so much easier for others? Why do all of these other women find success at work and I don’t.” This last one is where I am right now. Everyday. On and on I could go.

It is retraining my rejection spirit and thoughts not to turn to negative that I’m being left out, or set aside to be rejected. BUT, I AM being set apart and that my path is preparation for an assignment I know nothing about.

As I am praying and pondering God’s plan for my life now, I listened to “The Covenant Song.” The phrase that stuck out to me,

“Raise up His name on high
Raise up you people of His pride
Raise up and bare the fire that’s in our eyes
And in our lives and shows that we are not afraid”

Fear is such a root of rejection for me. Will I be turned away or ignored or overlooked (again) and that fear dictates too many of my actions and my words in all aspects of my life. SO I sang and meditated on this phrase, “we are not afraid.” I am not afraid.

So back to the deer and So what? This morning driving to work, I was blessed with the sighting of 2 young deer. They ambled across the road in the foggy morning. I have never seen deer on this road.  In my myopic world, I took this as a promise from God. “Your fears, your angst, your desires are known to me. Things will come. I will provide. I promise. I know what I’m doing.”  My slang thought of “I got you” came to mind.

I hope that I practice that feeling every day and recall when I am feeling especially rejected next time that I am not forgotten. Don’t be afraid. You are set aside.

Six more chapters to go, so I know there are many more lessons to learn and hopefully tuck into my heart. I hope there more deer sightings and understanding of His promises. Amen.

 

 

 

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